The Struggle With Being “In Between”

by Wednesday, July 29, 2015

fishersofmenYesterday was a good day. Yesterday was a bad day. Okay, yesterday was a good day, but I had a bad moment. 

Yesterday we went to the beach, which was exactly what I’ve been needing. I swam like the mermaid I am, chowed down on a good ole chicken caesar salad, and caught up reading this month’s EBONY & New Yorker. #SelfCare It was beautiful.

Although I tried to lay down my burdens in Lake Michigan, and not think about the tons of work I have to do, the entrepreneur in me wouldn’t let up. Instead of getting excited about everything that’s going on, I was really sad.

After venting to my husband the list of things I have to do for the launch of my first book “When God Said Yes” on August 29, 2015, he informed me that I have a “good problem”. True. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. I’m THIS close to seeing a lifelong dream of mine come true. So what’s the issue?

Standing in front of the ATM machine at Walgreens, I blurted out to Steve, “I struggle with being “in between”. Now, although I wish I can take credit for that saying, I have to shout out my brother, author Richard L. Taylor of “Between the Dream”. Ever since I heard the title of his book, “Between the Dream”, it stuck with me, and justified what I’ve been feeling.

I hate being “in between”. I’m not surprised. This has been the story of my life. As a young adult living at my mother’s house, I couldn’t WAIT to have my own place. After getting my own apartment in Hyde Park, there were days I wish I could run back to the comfort of my mom’s house. Although I began to love my singleness, there were days I dreaded being single, and couldn’t wait to be married. Now that I’ve been married for almost an year, thoughts of expanding our family are beginning to slowly take over my thoughts. And now, I’m on the brink of launching my first book “When God Said Yes” next month. The Chicago launch date is filling up. Things are perfectly on track, and still, I’m stressing out. I want it to be over already. I despise the planning phase. I hate waiting, and as I type this right now, I realize I’ve been trying to cover up what the real issue is: I’m impatient.

It’s been something I’ve been telling myself I need to pray about, but I guess I haven’t had the patience for that either. Sad. And now, it’s literally beginning to drive me crazy.

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Well said, Tracee. I’m sure there HAS to be a beauty in the uncertainty that comes along with being “in between”. I plan to search, discover, and explore that place.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

Love Always,

Nik

P.S. To purchase Richard’s book “Between the Dream” click here.

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