Amber Cole has been the talk of Twitter for a few days now. After seeing her name on my Timeline a few times, I finally asked someone “Who is Amber Cole?” My friend informed me that she is a 14 year old girl who is on video giving oral sex.
Amber Cole quickly became a Trending Topic on Twitter. What was shocking to me, was to see the video posted on Facebook by a few of my “friends”. Yesterday morning I googled her name and it was shocking to see the things that people were saying about her. Acting as if her actions are entirely her fault.
Amber is said to be 14 years old, so it is safe to assume that she knows right from wrong. However, we are living in a time where it seems like being sexually vulgar is trending and it doesn’t look like it will get old anytime soon.
Take a look at these ads:
Since Amber is a young African American girl, let’s take a look at some images that may or may not have influenced her:
Our generation is inundated with images like the ones above, with lyrics to go along. Yet we are shocked when we hear about Amber Cole’s story. Trust me, there are plenty more Amber Coles out there. Young girls who see the images, hear the lyrics, and begin to act like they’re living in a video. We have ourselves to blame.
As women we faught for our rights, and don’t get me wrong, we deserved them. We deserved to have the right to vote. We deserved to earn equal pay as men. We also deserved the right to express ourselves. During that time we cut our hair, burned our bras while yelling “I am woman, hear me roar”. We desired to express our sexuality. We wanted to be free. Now here we are in 2011 and it looks like our freedom has a cost. We wear bare to minimum clothing and become offended when men salivate after us. We sing raunchy lyrics and wonder why men label us. We take pictures, make sex videos, and still wonder why we can’t be taken seriously. What are we trying to prove?
Before I’m misunderstood, please know that I don’t walk around wearing a sheet. I show skin, but I have chosen to keep it classy. I love being a lady. When did we equate being sexually explicit, with being beautiful? Then there’s the saying “if you have it, flaunt it”, so then I must ask again, what are we trying to prove? And to who?
A couple of weeks ago Rihanna stated in Vogue magazine that she doesn’t want to be a role model (click here to read), she simply wants to make music. I agree with Rihanna. No musician should automatically be catergorized as a role model. Some of them have signed up to sing, period. However, we can’t ignore the heavy influence these women have on our young girls. We must go after our girls and inform them about real life. Where are the gatekeepers? Teach them. We must remind ourselves about the true essence of beauty and how it first starts within. Teach them how to be a lady. Let them know their worth. Remember our worth.
And to Amber Cole, we apologize. As Black women we apologize for not being better examples for you to look up to. We apologize for the lack of us represented in media in a positive light. You were made for more. Know your worth baby girl.
Love Always & Forever,