My Husband Asked If I Was Happy In Our Marriage, I Had to Be Honest: BMWK Post

by Wednesday, April 8, 2015


The other day my husband asked me on a scale of 1 to 10, how happy I was in our marriage. We’re coming up on our 7 month wedding anniversary and tend to check in with each other about what’s working in our marriage, and what areas we can afford to improve in. It didn’t take long for me to answer my husband’s question. I automatically knew I couldn’t give him a confident 10. Why? Money.

We jumped the broom September 2014. Literally the next month (October 2014), my husbands car went out. It must be experiencing an issue not known to man, because his car is STILL out. My car TRIED to go out, but thank God we’ve been able to keep “Betty Boop” (my vehicle) up and running. *crosses fingers & sends up prayer* Maybe I’ve been spoiled my entire life, but two people sharing one vehicle is torture. Either I plan my schedule around his or wake up at the crack of dawn, so I can have the car for the day. I have to decide if I want my sleep or my liberty that comes along with the car. Decisions.

On top of that, I’ve been feeling like I’m not doing my part as a wife financially. I work part-time and I write full-time, which we know pays part-time. Every week we deal with the stress of balancing student loan phone calls (ugh), being responsible with our money to ensure we have the bare necessities, and treating ourselves for all of our hard work. I’ve been independent my entire life, so letting a man take care of me has been a growing process. Sometimes I wish I can write one check that will eliminate all our worries. In my head it could all be so simple, but things have not gone the way we planned for them to go, AT ALL. However, we’ve been able to find the beauty that exists in financial hardship.

A couple of months ago I wrote an article entitled “4 Ways Hard Times Can Strengthen Your Marriage”. Although at times I tend to hate the season we’re in, I know things will get better. I honestly believe it’s healthy for newlyweds to go through a rough season, because it makes you stronger and builds character. It also creates opportunities for God to prove his word is true:

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Our marriage may have started off a little rocky financially, but guess what? My husband recently got a new job! And it’s exactly what he prayed for. He now has his nights and weekends off, and it pays more. Won’t he do it?! My husband is 100% sure that this door opened for him, because of the favor that comes along with having a wife. I’m confident this is just the beginning.

When my husband asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 how happy I was in our marriage, I had to say 9. Why? Money has been a huge thorn in our sides, not letting us be free. However, I all of a sudden feel guilty about saying 10. Money is the number one reason why couples divorce. The lack of it, the mismanagement, money can be a powerful servant or terrible ruler. However, I REFUSE to allow finances determine the happiness of my marriage. We will do what we have to do to be good stewards of our resources and let God do the rest.

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