The Month I Didn’t Talk To Men: Wedding Chronicles

by Thursday, February 6, 2014


Let me first start out by saying I’m not one of those Christians who claim to hear from God all the time. To be honest, God has never audibly spoke to me, but I always know when He’s speaking. I hope that makes sense.

It was last February (2013). I can’t remember where I was, or what I was doing. I suddenly had what I thought was a regular thought: “Don’t talk to any men for an entire month”. Where did that thought come from? I immediately dismissed it. A few days later the same thought came to me, but this time it was different: “You shouldn’t be talking to any men this month.” This time I knew this was indeed the Lord speaking to me, but there was one major problem that was quite confusing: I ALREADY WASN’T TALKING TO ANY MEN. I didn’t have a boyfriend, boo, or random. There was NO ONE. Who was I supposed to not talk to? Nevertheless, I concluded with only speaking to the men in my family during what I was now calling a “man fast”. If I only knew what the next 30 days had in store for me.

I seriously can not make this stuff up. A different man reached out to me almost EVERYDAY during my 30 day man fast. I would literally go to work and show a new message to my roommate & co-worker. They were aware of my man fast and couldn’t believe what was happening as well. I can honestly say it wasn’t hard not talking to these men, although I did wonder about their intentions. It became clear that God was doing something, which encouraged me to simply be obedient.

Guard thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Boy oh boy, I am a bit too familiar with this scripture. This had become my go-to scripture whenever I became frustrated with dating. Realizing I’m a sucker for love, I saw exactly why the Lord informed me to refrain from talking to men during that time. Can you imagine my heart being pulled in a million directions? I would have been entertaining a plethora of men, who clearly were not my future husband. I guess the Lord decided to help me guard my heart, since I wasn’t exactly a pro at it. Isn’t he such a great Father?

Last February I didn’t talk to men, this February I’m engaged…

Obedience is always better. In April (2013) my soon to be husband started reaching out to me. Sometimes I wonder where would I be if I had decided to ignore the nudge of God. I can’t imagine missing out on the awesome blessing of marrying Mr. Stephen. Seriously, I can go on & on for days about how amazing my man is. But the best part is, I submitted myself to God, and allowed HIM (and only him) to write my love story.

Sisters… Has God called you to give up something? DO. IT. My former pastor always says God isn’t trying to take something from you, He’s trying to give something to you. God wasn’t trying to take me away from men, he was trying to prepare me for my soon to be, only husband. Get it? Good. Now completely trust the Father.

UPDATE! I now have an  ebook available entitled “The 30 Day Man Fast”. To purchase, click here.


12 Responses
  • Crystal Starkes
    February 6, 2014

    This is so inspiring! Oftentimes, we as women tend to focus so much attention seeking men instead of just stopping and focusing more time on ourselves! I love this! Good luck on your marriage!

  • Shaunie
    February 6, 2014

    Nikki this is so great!! What’s interesting is that something similar happened to me also. God instructed me to be intentionally single for 2 years. This was after a really hard break up with someone I thought I was going to marry. God kept nudging me as well and I ignored it, and it kept coming back to me until I said yes, I would do it. I met my husband right as the fast ended. It’s amazing how God works, and it’s so important to be obedient!

  • Kelly
    February 7, 2014

    Thanks for sharing! You got me thinking about instructions I need to follow, lol

  • Russelyn
    February 14, 2015

    Omg, Niki I love this!

  • Phoebe
    April 10, 2015

    So the idea kept nudging at me then I came across your article completely by ‘accident’ and I couldn’t believe what I was reading! I started today and it’s so tough. There should be a self-help group for this. I have perpetually been in a relationship for years and I know I need to break the trend. Into Him I go! I refuse to settle. He’s in charge. Be praying for me. Any tips and scriptures will be very welcome, thank you! :o)

  • Cynthia
    June 8, 2015

    I thought life has not been fair with me for the past months I ve been so frustrated due to relationship issues and now i come to understand God’s plan, He wants me to prepare for my future husband. Thanks so much for the inspiring words.

  • Jo
    September 3, 2015

    What about good male friends?

    • Marquita
      September 8, 2015

      I began reading your book yesterday and I have this same question. Literally since I decided to do this multiple men have been reaching out to me…

      But what about good male friends?? I only have like 2.

  • Lady J
    September 6, 2015

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I read where you said “God is not trying to take something from us but give something to us”. Thank you for that. God bless

  • Natasha Brazil
    September 29, 2015

    How did you deal with coming in contact with guys that you work with on a job or mutual organization?

  • Bettina
    October 19, 2015

    This article is something I came upon by “accident.” I spoke to my friend about this weeks ago and she suggested I do a fast, removing all distractions (blocking all men) and I started, but opened the door to one I cared about and now I feel confused about him in some ways. I feel God may have been telling me about him, but I don’t know if it’s God or my insecurities. I feel like coming across the article was a possibly a nudge to seek God and recommit to the fast. I’m going to pray about it and see what God has for me to do…but this can’t be a coincidence…I feel it was God!

    I also wanted to know about good male friends. I have one who is like my brother and we are pretty close. If I have to stoop communication for a month, it will be hard, but he would understand and would support me, but I just want to know and be clear on it all. Thanks so much Nikki!!

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