Nikki and the City

What I Learned On My Faith Challenge

faithchallengephone

If you guys remember a few weeks ago I stated I was going on a “faith challenge”. Why? I realized God’s word is true and without faith it’s impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6). My “faith challenge” ended this past Friday (Feb 14). Check out what I learned.

How come no one ever told me how negative I can be?

gross

Prior to my faith challenge I thought I was a pretty upbeat person. I wasn’t walking around all emo, and I was excited about the future. However, I never realized how negative my thoughts and words can be. It’s crazy, because as soon as I begin to notice this, I had to put a reminder on my phone in order to remember I was doing a faith challenge (pictured above). This helped, but it didn’t cure completely. I soon discovered that I was guilty of what my mama refers to as “stinking thinking”. For example: While applying for a job, midway through I’ll give up, saying to myself “They aren’t’ going to hire me anyway” or “This is a waste of time”. It doesn’t end there. My thoughts seemed to be negative about anything good that could possibly happen for me. It’s crazy, because even though I consider myself to be a growing Christian, I couldn’t allow myself to truly believe and live out the following:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Fear will paralyze you!

I always thought  of myself as this fearless woman, who’s going after her dreams no matter what. Man, I was in for a rude awakening. The truth is, I have HUGE dreams that are attainable, but fear keeps me from going after most of those dreams. The excuses are endless: “It isn’t the right time”, “I need more likes on my Facebook fan page”, or a simple flat out “They won’t pick me”. Seriously, was I unconsciously trying to be my own worst critic? If so, I was going beyond the call of duty. Ew. Don’t get it twisted, there are a few dreams I have pursued, but it seems like the BIG ones scare the crap out of me. So, instead of actually going hard, I’d make excuses on why I need to wait. Bologna. All of that has officially changed. I wish y’all could see the list of things I’m working on now that I got my mojo back.

But all God ever really wanted for me to do is simply step out…

photo credit: danielsfunny.com

photo credit: danielsfunny.com

Am I the only one who had a hard time with these trust exercises? If my mind serves me correctly, I think I was even dropped one time. Smh. It’s justifiable to be apprehensive about trusting humans, however, we tend to have the same reaction with God. Ekkkkkkkkk… I know I’m guilty. During my faith challenge, I learned all God wanted me to do was to simply get the ball running, and he would complete the rest. All he wanted me to have was a little faith and TRY! Seriously, I can’t share everything right now, but a few mountains were moved and I know it was nothing but my faith.

I’ve shared with a few people the things that God did for me on my faith challenge. I’m so happy that it’s inspired them to begin their own faith challenge as well. Even though I’m technically done with the challenge, I still check myself whenever I’m having faithless thoughts, behavior, etc. It’s now my lifestyle, which I like to refer to as “walking on water”. ;)

Have you started a faith challenge? I’d love to hear all about it! Know someone who needs to read this? Share :)

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One thought on “What I Learned On My Faith Challenge

  1. Sharon

    Needed this. Thank you for sharing love. I struggle big time in this area, so I appreciate your transparency with it. I’ve never done a faith challenge like the one you’ve described but I’ve definitely been in modes were attemp to be more aware of my negative thinking. I feel like I’m experiencing growing pains daily. Trying to figure out how to move forward from truly painful experiences in my past, while still remaining authentic. I create a lot of my music and art out of the painful places. Some of my best art comes from it but man, I definitely long for more peace and less fear to thrive on. Fear has kept me paralyzed for too long, yes I’ve accomplished a lot according to most peoples standards for someone my age but my real dreams, the dreams that as Kanye put it in one of his songs “keep me up at night” – the dreams I’ve had ever since I was a little girl, negative thinking surrounds those and I’m tired of it. I’ve been trying to live by the phrase, “do it afraid”. It’s crazy because when we’re little girls, everyone tells us we can do anything and we can be anything we want. And as we grow older we lose that sense of courage and fearlessness. I think it’s so sad. People aren’t as kind as adults as they are to the children versions of themselves. I also find as a black woman in the workplace, I never had a mentor. I read somewhere recently that statistically black women often don’t. I’ve had to learn a lot as I go along and trying to shape my own lane without that help and support is not easy. When I get depressed, confused, have questions – I don’t have anyone to process it with. From a human being standpoint, we need that support and we’re wired for relationship, so it’s no wonder why I feel these things – which is why I’m learning to give myself some credit and be kind to myself. Anyway, I’m fascinated with this topic and could go on and on. You go girl! Let’s keep supporting one another as we walk on water. Much love! You inspire sis.

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