Why I Chose to Be On TLC’s Reality Show “Virgin Coaches”

by Wednesday, November 12, 2014


Last night Kim Kardashian “broke the internet” by releasing a picture of her bare naked behind for the cover of PAPER Magazine. Last night was also the night my husband was on a show, learning about sex, because I was a 30-year-old virgin who was a bit naive. Both actions has received backlash, which really makes me wonder about society’s mindset. Allow me to tell my story.

Before I got married I wrote a post entitled “30 Year Old Virgin: Why I’m Waiting for Marriage to Have Sex”. It. Went. Viral. I still can’t believe I was actually scared to hit publish and even contemplated deleting the entire post. Boy am I glad I pressed pass my fears and realized God wanted me to share my story. The next morning I woke up to a variety of tweets and comments from people who deeply appreciated my post. One day later a producer from New York City emailed me, wanting to chat about a potential opportunity for me to share my story on a reality show entitled “Virgin Coaches”. My initial thoughts about her email consisted of a big fat “NO”. Why? Being a virgin in today’s society is almost unheard of, and I refused to be made a joke or have my Christian faith to be made a mockery of. However, after an intense discussion with multiple producers, Steve and I decided we wanted to be apart of this once in a lifetime opportunity. Here’s why:

  • The virgin coaches, Bill and Janean Fuller, are Christian sex therapists. If you’re like “what the heck is that?”, you aren’t alone. I had no idea that such a thing existed as well, but it does. As someone who grew up in the church simply hearing “Don’t have sex before marriage”, I figured it would be wise of me to attend their retreat and get as much wisdom as I can two months before jumping the broom.
  • I was a 30-year-old virgin who barely spoke to my parents about sex growing up, and by barely I mean NEVER. And let’s be honest, sex education in high school was a bit awkward and the lessons I learned from the media lacks credit. It was time for me to get a proper understanding of the birds and bees.
  • In my Martin Lawrence voice, “This face belongs on the tizube”. I’m kidding, but as a writer working in media, it’s a dream of mine to work closely with television networks. TLC is a great start if I do say so myself. Prayerfully this door will open more doors.
  • Last but not least, it’s a conversation that needs to be had. I must admit, at first I was apprehensive about talking about sex on national television. However, I thought about how much sex is discussed in a mannish manner in today’s society, and became even more passionate about sharing our story. Why is it okay for media to promote raunchy sex inundated messages? Better question: Why is it okay for Kim Kardashian to pose with her naked behind on the cover of a magazine, but it’s weird for couples who are waiting for marriage to attend a sex retreat to learn about romance the way God intended it? Things that make you go hmmm…

Of course Kim Kardashian experienced backlash from the picture, which is expected. However, I’m almost shocked at some people’s response to “Virgin Coaches”. Even those close to us. Let ‘s be clear about something: I would have attended this retreat even if they were NOT filming it, because it was necessary. The chance to share our story on national tv was the cherry on top. MORE people need to know that there are young Christian couples who are waiting for marriage to have sex, how God intended it to be. That’s my story, I’m sticking to it, and I’ll run before I take it back.

Enough about all that. Did you catch last night’s debut of “Virgin Coaches”? If so, what did you think?┬áBe sure to check us out every Tuesday night at 8 p.m. (CST) on TLC. Also, be on the lookout for more posts about this experience and life after :)

Love Always,

Nikki C.

6 Responses
  • Dr. Renee
    November 12, 2014

    I thoroughly enjoyed the show and it was very interesting the exercises that you guys participated in. I look forward to watching this every week. I think it flows great with the Duggar’s. You guys did a great job and thank you for being so open and honest. There are some non-virgins that I am sure could use such a retreat.

  • Ariel White
    November 12, 2014

    I thoroughly enjoyed the show! You and Steve represented yourselves very well! I love the transparency and I think transparency should be the new black lol! Great job, can’t wait to see what’s more to come!

  • Turkesha
    November 12, 2014

    I enjoyed the show on last night. I admire your courage to share your story and I am confident that your story will be an inspiration to the masses. There are so many little girls and adult women that need to hear your story. Continued blessings.

  • Janice
    November 12, 2014

    A colleague mentioned seeing you on TV as we were talking about some of the bloggers I met last weekend. Way to own your story.

  • Tiffany
    November 13, 2014

    One thing is for sure, families, friends, partners across America were talking about sex in a wholesome but real way that actually made us think all at the same time! Our nation probably hasn’t done that in a long time. No matter what people say, agree or disagree on, it felt great to actually have a real conversation about sex that promoted exclusivity and honoring God in Christian beliefs. A lot of peeps on TV confess being Christian but don’t always give examples of this, they’re still in relationships that don’t promote it, and that’s not to condemn. Hope the show is a success and hope it opens up tons of doors for you!!

  • Tiara
    November 14, 2014

    Love the show! I will be tuning in for the coming weeks. Being a soon-to-be 30 year old virgin this upcoming bday in December I discovered your article just in time to keep me encouraged cause it gets hard out here chile! So I am always interested to read about the journey of others walking a similar path. Now listen I’m not trying to be funny but um my reason for tuning in is that your personality captured through your writing is witty and you’re not the virgin that looks all quiet and no pizazz (hope I spelled that right lol). This is so inspiring to me because people are always shocked to find out that I’m a virgin because I am so outgoing which I don’t know who made up the rule that virgins couldn’t be awesome. However, on TV or in the media they oftentimes don’t portray the girl who looks like she could the life of the party and also fearlessly living a life for God. Kudos to you!

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